Stylish Nappies, Or The Rise of The FashionisToT


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I knew there was a reason why I hated Grazia magazine. Not only are their articles pretentious but they also reek a lot. I have always wondered where that smell came from and I initially thought that it was related to the brown-nose syndrom that affects most of their writers, but it turns out that it could be in fact linked to some strange nappy/diaper fetish they have.

This photo is taken from this stupid article which prompted this post.

Extract :

“When you hung up your tutu and ballet slippers at the age of five, you could hardly have expected your adult self to excitedly want to re-enter the world of pirouettes and pliés. But this season, ballet is undeniably having its fashion moment, and you’ll be dancing on air – in more than just your favourite pair of ballet flats.

It’s one thing to see images of the most stylish of celebrity offspring, Suri Cruise, snapped after a ballet class looking adorable in a tutu and tights, but when Mossy herself gets in on the act (the super’s summer plans include a trip to Marseille, where she’s due to perform a duet with dance legend Mikhail Baryshnikov aka Carrie Bradshaw’s Russian), we’re all wondering how to get en pointe.”

Yo, Grazia. Yo’ writer is so stupid that she must put lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind.

Seriously. What kind of rubbish article is this?! Autopsy of a roadkill :

1) There probably was a reason for handing in the tutu and ballet slippers at the age of five. Additionally, you are quite right; I could not have expected my adult self to want to look like an arthritic hippo competing for the Olympics, because even then, I knew that this was a ridiculous look. Call it Nostradamus Power, I call it COMMON SENSE.

2) MOST.STYLISH.CELEBRITY.OFFSPRING?! What in the name of the Karate Kid’s hairband is a “stylish celebrity offspring”? One that managed to spend one day without soiling himself? One that managed to rock a customised nappy? PLEASE! I feel sorry for these celebrity kids who are not even able to enjoy their kiddihood because they are being papped for stupid articles like this. And this is in a “reputable” fashion mag : e.g you are supposed to go “OMG, this look is faaaaaaabulouuuuuuuuuuuus. I am so gonna get some Pampers and Swarovski them”.

Oh. And it seems there is even a classification for them, since Suri Cruise is the “most stylish”. So after the size 0 debacle, should we expect a “size 18months” mess?!

Gimme a KitKat break.

3) Not content with being inspired by a kid wearing her ballet class shoes, you should also run to your ballet shoe shop because, wait for it….Mossy is on the case!

*Blows heaven’s trumpets*

So, should Suri Cruise decides to wear an Inspector Gadget hat and Kate Moss follow suit, then we should all go GoGoGadget and customise a fedora with some picnic tools?! Why this mindless sheep mentality in fashion mags? Cant they just suggest outfits without linking it to some idiot who happened to have been told to wear something?

Thanks but no thanks. If I want fashion inspiration from someone who drools and has urinary issues, I would rather go to my nan – at least she has seen decades of fashion!

Geriatrically Yours,


Amy

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